twenty weeks

nineteen weeks

florida fun!

eighteen weeks

today you are four months old

Dear Seth,

You are only four months old, but already you look like a much older baby. According to your last pediatrician visit, you are as tall as a seven-month-old, and the weight of a five-and-a-half-month-old. To think I lamented my whole life for having small boobs - evidently they are more than sufficient.

Your size is notable for more reasons than just how you stack up against a chart - it's also how you stack up against your peers. Take for example your girlfriend Charlotte: seven months old, but already you outweigh her. She's longer than you by an inch or two, but very petite. And may I congratulate you on landing an older woman? Charlotte and her parents came over for Easter dinner. You freaked out and wouldn't settle, but Lotte? Went down to sleep and was never heard from again. LEARN THIS!

Now, I know I should not complain. You are still a great nighttime sleeper, although I'm pretty sure you'll be even better at it when we move you to your own bedroom, a transition we plan to attempt this coming month. And daytime sleep? You're even getting better at napping thanks to our super-nanny, Miss Stacey. So let me take a minute to remind you of your first ever nanny, the lady to whom I am trusting you for nine to ten hours per day, four days per week. Miss Stacey did in three days what I have not been able to do in three months: get you to sleep during the day. As she was heading to the bedroom to put you down one afternoon, I noticed you were WIDE awake and making noise and I laughed at the thought of you actually being able to go to sleep. "But he has yawned twice," Miss Stacey explained. Lo and behold, within only 2 minutes, and without any tears, you were asleep. For real.

I like Miss Stacey and am relieved at and delighted with her capabilities as a nanny, (um, and also her willingness to do dishes and laundry - even diaper laundry!) I still don't like the idea that I'm going to miss parts of your growing up. Indeed, I already am. Even though she sends me pictures to my phone, like these ones - including one of you holding your bottle all by yourself like a big boy - and also writes me notes to let me know how your day went, and what you're doing that's new (you rolled over for her, several times! And never for me!) it's also a reminder that I'm not there, seeing it for myself. It makes me think of all the other things I might miss, such as the first crawl, first words, first steps... Like many working moms before me and like many working moms to come, I guess I just have to come to terms with the idea that someone else will be co-raising you. In fact, someone else is going to have way more waking hours with you than I will. Something inside me says that's just not right.

You have become more aware of the people around you, and I love to watch you play with your new friends. Your time at Monday Morning Moms is more interactive for you now that you are noticing the other babies. I know the next few weeks are going to really make a difference in how you play with others. Sharing care with your new "older friend" Jack (he's 21 months old) is going to be really good for your social development. Miss Stacey says that Jack has been really great with you, showing you all his toys and trying to share with you. I think you are getting him used to the idea of having a baby around, which is good since he will have a baby sister in June!

The last month has been full of vocal experimentation on your part. One week you discovered VOLUME, and you used the very loudest voice you could all the time. This is cute, but we were happy when this ceased to be novel to you, and you discovered pitch. Really really high pitch. That one was really quite hilarious, because you would open your mouth and aim for a high note and there would be nothing.... nothing.... and then ultra high-frequency - almost to the point of a dog whistle - falsetto! Once you got over that mini-obsession you spent a week trying to sound like a zombie - a bizarre, undead sort of sound that came from the back of your throat. And now, this past week, you've started to talk like a little human, moving your tongue and your lips and really looking like you're trying to form words. It's pretty funny, though, because sometimes your tongue gets in the way and you end up raspberrying and spitting all over the place. One day you were really talking to your Dad and me for a while and we were not giving you our undivided attention but instead just answering you while continuing whatever else it was we were working on. When I finally looked up at you, you had grown a beard of bubbles!

I guess if I had to give this month a theme, it would be "on the verge," because you seem just about ready for so many things. Things like playing with other babies, walking, talking. I know there is still a lot of time before you get to some of those things, and that really you are not even close to crawling or babysign, let alone the big kid skills they lead to, but if you stood up tomorrow, walked across the room to me and said, in perfect English, "Mom, can have the keys to the car?" I'd only be half-surprised. But for now I'm pretty content to just sit there, snuggling you tightly to my chest and listening to you say "glarg".

I glarg you too, baby.

Love,
Mum

seventeen weeks